urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis Eros Odin Cathexis Eros Odin Cathexis 2009-10-05T01:57:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:94871 2009-10-05T01:41:44Z 2009-10-05T01:57:07Z Natalie's Rap - Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell Oh, the days my schizophrenic dad seemed all the more sane than anyone in the world.... Maybe my problem these days is that my life has been too easy, because I know I thrive on challenge. I like the fact that I'm different, though some days I try to fool myself that I'm like everyone else. I know I've changed, but I know I'm not the same. I can't put my life's subtleties into words these days, which has seldom been a problem for me in the past. I find it hard to describe my emotions and how I feel about certain things accurately. Then there's those weird head trips I get from out of nowhere.....<br /><br />Like the last couple of days I keep feeling drunk, but I haven't been drinking. I haven't been doing any recreational drugs whatsoever. And yet I can't seem to hold a proper conversation in my own head. I'm having trouble focusing on much of anything - a surprise I've gotten so much done and so well. I wonder if this is how the typical partying college student feels at least half the time...<br /><br />I remember that I keep wanting to post about how I think I've changed over the last few years, but the words keep escaping me when I go to write, so it turns into this cryptic gobbledy-gook.<br /><br />Maybe next time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:94295 2009-09-19T02:15:56Z 2009-09-19T02:15:56Z I wonder if it was a survival skill while I was in Oregon to really feel like I needed to be an asshole... Maybe it was the fact that I was constantly bored and lonely, and seemingly ALWAYS in a state of depression. Maybe it was the fact that there were about 200 extremely pompous, immature little twits running around all over the place, without a way to find time by myself or to even get away from it. At any rate, it's FINALLY over now, and I'm moving on.<br /><br />Now, I know it was on the news, but I found out because my mom actually sent me a link to it. I think it's REALLY fucked up that the media doesn't bother asking an athlete her permission to broadcast her health record across the world. It's an extremely debasing way of finding out that you're "different", and I'm sure anyone who's been reading my journals here all along knows EXACTLY what I mean and how it is to find out in such public ways. If someone has a medical condition that makes them produce more testosterone but their body can't use it, then there's no competitive advantage, and therefore is NOBODY'S FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!!<br /><br />In other news, I have discovered a few things...<br /><br />1. That it was really weird to find out that when I decided not to focus so much on the ladies, suddenly more are starting to flirt with me than ever.<br />2. That it's more effective and better received when I tell a woman I have "interests" in about my being intersexed right after I'm sure she's attracted to me.<br />3. That everyone always has a negative opinion, and those who decide to voice it in your general direction have given up their chance to understand how awesome you really are. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:94173 2009-09-11T04:08:00Z 2009-09-11T04:08:00Z I've been really busy. As that may or may not be a good thing, I am at least accomplishing things. I am feeling a whole lot less depressed, and am starting to lose some weight again. I still have quite a ways to go with that, but I have chosen to take it slowly, as I have realized I need to be in the proper mindset to be able to keep myself motivated.<br /><br />I have been noticing that people down here seem to appreciate kindness more than they did in Oregon. It's good to not feel like I need to be an asshole at all hours of the day and night just to be able to get some personal space.<br /><br />Because I have also made a commitment to myself to not be so distracted from the main goals I have in my life, I have decided I am going to try my best to not be so tempted by women that I know I will not want in the long term. This is not to say I don't want women in my life, but that I realize that they should not be one of my main focuses. The funny thing that I have noticed about that since I have been shifting my focus is that it seems to attract more ladies than if I actively focus on them. *shrugs* Attraction seems so paradoxical sometimes... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:93485 2009-06-02T00:16:41Z 2009-06-02T00:16:41Z Sometimes I feel like my life is on a teeter-totter. Once I get one part of my life somewhat balanced out, another part of it comes flying at me from seemingly out of nowhere. This couldn't be reality... Not that I'm in denial or anything, but after all this soul searching and other similar stuff, I still find that some of the simplest things in life can be some of the most frightening. And I keep telling myself that I'm an adult, but after taking a closer look at the things currently scaring me, it's so completely rediculous that it couldn't possibly be real.<br /><br />First on the list - I know I'm out in B.F.E. for a reason. But I'm absolutely relishing the idea of having my own place once again. But at the same time, there's this fear of the same kinds of things that happened before will continue happening to the point of redudancy, despite what I change within myself or my life.<br /><br />Second - As a point of creating change in my life, I have been at least attempting to talk to as many women as I possibly can, regardless of whether I find them attractive or not. As a result, I have found at least a few I've actually liked as people. BUT - It seems as though every time I find myself liking them more and more, some sort of oddball thing happens and they stop talking to me. And to this, I analyzed(I NEVER under-analyze ANYTHING that bothers me this much...) my own personal thoughts and behaviors as to our interactions, and found that just about nothing points the finger at me when it comes to the reasons these things happen. <br /><br />But one major thing has been crossing my mind the last few days... Some deeply engrained self-doubt has me convinced that I'm afraid of 1. Getting too close to a woman who has what I need/want because I'm afraid of getting hurt AGAIN. 2. Allowing a woman to get too close to me because I don't want her to expect something from me that I can't give to her, due to my physical challenges, and thus hurting her. 3. Settling down in a long-term relationship with a woman who's everything I could want because I'm somewhat selfish and shallow, and don't want to feel like I missed some big part of my life, simply because I haven't had much of an opportunity to explore sexually, again, due to my physical limitations.<br /><br />I know these thoughts are extremely limiting to my growth as a person, and I don't like them at all. I just don't know how to shake them. Then only thing I can think of on my own is finding something to keep my mind off of things like sex and relationships until I can find a way to get a handle on it within myself. But should that be considered ignoring the problem? If so, then how can I face my fears without becoming too desensitized from getting hurt too often? As for the somewhat selfish and shallow - I gave it some thought, and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Maybe it's the testosterone, but I have found that if I just settle for anything, I won't have anything I actually want, and so I refuse to lower my standards just to have a relationship. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:93346 2009-05-18T23:54:10Z 2009-05-18T23:54:10Z *jumps up and down in excitement* <br /><br />I have FINALLY heard abck from the guy who directs the whole west coast region for TCU. I have a phone "interview" with him tomorrow morning. The hope is that somehow I wind up going to the one in San Jose. But if I don't, all is not lost, 'cause there's one in Los Angeles evidently.<br /><br />This could mean I'm on my way down there in either about a month, or toward the end of the summer. So, *crosses my fingers* hopefully this is the beginning of something I can actually use in my life. I'm also hoping I can somehow be put on MediCal, because there's a state mandate in California to help "underpriveleged" trans folk with their transition. Of course by the time I knew of this, I was already assumed to be too old for MediCal, but that may not necessarily be so, because there's a clause in the Americans with Disabilities Act that states "gender identity disorder not as a result of a medical condition is not a disability", and since I am, in fact, intersexed, I can be construed as having a disability.<br /><br />Besides, if I'm back in California, then it will/might be easier to track down the "doctors" originally responsible for many of my physical frustrations, and try to convince them to make ammends with the whole notion of hacking up babies' genitalia. As a second, I hope that this convincing part of it all prompts them to even so remotely attempt to help me get back much of what was lost. Long shot, I know, but they DO say miracles happen... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:93060 2009-05-03T21:50:55Z 2009-05-03T21:50:55Z It appears as though I will be going back to California for Job Corps advanced training. I should be in San Jose for the better part of a year. The training is based on the clerical/business end of the transportation industry. Because of the nature of this particular industry, I've no idea where I may end up. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:92707 2009-04-21T00:44:38Z 2009-04-21T00:44:38Z I saw my dad this last weekend. It went rather well, considering his friend he lives with is a complete and utter biggot. So, we stayed at another friend's who isn't so much of that. He's still trying to recover financially from his trip to Thailand - talking to SSI, etc. Hopefully soon he will be getting into another place closer and to town, just like he says he wants. *crosses my fingers* Although I am uncertain as to whether or not I will be in Eugene to live, considering work there is hard to find.<br /><br />I find myself continuing to miss California. It will always be home, no matter how much I love the place I happen to be living in at the time. BUT(Isn't it always there with me?) - it's looking as if Portland is the place to find work when located in Oregon. This of course does not mean I will necessarily wind up there. Seeing as how my life has this almost predictable way of changing at the very last minute when I think I've found my niche, nothing I do seems to necessarily amount to anything. *sighs* I feel a calling back to my more artistic sense, but I feel so very uncertain about so much these days that I don't know what the hell I should do.<br /><br />While I'm still in Job Corps though, I want to see if there are any temporary work/job shadows/internships that I can do over the summer to test different career interests of mine. A recent occurance is obtaining information about different student work programs available in the US Forest Service. Unfortunately though, I don't have much time to just sit around and wait for these programs to land me a job. I'm thinking I definitely want to go back to school, but for what I'm not real sure, and what job I can get while in school I haven't the foggiest. If things go well with camp crew this summer, I may be able to find out how to get a job doing administrative or clerical type work out on wild fires seasonally, and go to school the rest of the year, but I won't know if that's even possible until I go out on another fire. And that may not happen for a couple more months. Grrrrr I says - Grrrrr.<br /><br /><br /><br />SO! Who's up for some intellectual stimulation? :D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:92547 2009-03-17T00:59:20Z 2009-03-17T00:59:20Z But to the underdog.<br /><br />As for all those fakers and wannabes out there that said we couldn't do it because we're "ugly as fuck" or "too weak" that wish they were able to tear us down because for some reason it makes sense to tear down people if we can't build ourselves up - Well, suck it bitch!<br /><br />If all things only worked by logical or social appeal, then it wouldn't make sense that a metal tube could fly over the world, or how light projections in a tube could make us see "moving pictures", or why our government spends more money investigating blow job scandels than terrorist attacks, or the fact that we can ship a few guys to the moon from under a bucket of high explosives.<br /><br />Too many people want to say that things are not possible when they refuse to even find out if that, in fact, is even remotely correct. They're always saying things like "I can't", "That won't work", "It's never going to be good enough" to not only themselves, but projecting that same foolish notion onto others. And so what that you find out that your parents lied to you about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny! C'est le vie, mes amis!<br /><br />And what's all this wussy ass attitude and behavior from anyway? Self doubt is not something that we are born with, so it would seem that it comes from things we learn as children. Certainly, boundaries are good for us as our brains expand, but who said boundaries themselves cannot be set wider still? After all, a baby doesn't stop trying to walk just because other babies who can't tell them it's impossible, does it? So why should we begin to limit ourselves based on what others or even ourselves perceive as possible? And isn't that all it really ever is - perception? It's never really "just the facts", because who's to say what the "facts" really are?<br /><br />Yes, I'm crazy. I'm a total lunatic nut job promoting the idea of self-expansion to all my victims - I mean readers... Ahem. And why shouldn't I be? Don't we all tend to avoid doing something we REALLY want to do just because we're afraid? I know I do, and all the time. And that's exactly the reason why I SHOULD do it, especially if that's the only reason - out of fear. <br /><br />Granted, at the age of 25, I still don't know exactly what I want, because I've wasted too many years listening to people tell me that I couldn't or shouldn't do something. And now I'm seriously regretting it, because now I don't even know what I like or am even good at, other than painting colorful ideas and images with written words. I love to inspire and provoke, but to where from there, I do not know... I know who I am more at my inner core than at any other time of my life, but what to do with it, I must find out. And I WILL find out. I'm too damn stubborn to allow the future deadbeats out there to get the best of me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:92414 2009-02-20T02:20:19Z 2009-02-20T02:20:19Z It seems as though when I FINALLY make up my mind about something, it goes just fine for awhile, and then it all changes, and shortly before what seemed could've been success as I perceived it at the time...<br /><br />I have decided that because of the shortage of electrical jobs, I will be looking into a different line of work once I'm done with the electrical program here at Job Corps. Because there is an "advanced training" program through Job Corps in North Carolina for forestry/firefighting and I've done the camp crew program here for woodland fires, it seems that would be a good program for me. There are two programs at that campus - one for forestry firefighting, and one for natural resources. Because I don't have enough faith in my physical ability to keep up with the firefighting and my interest in horticulture, I'm seriously considering the natural resources program. On another plus side of this, the government is trying to fill spots in the forestry service because of a large amount of people retiring from it, and through this program, I am almost guaranteed a job with the US Forest Service.<br /><br />BUT, I know I may not be able to be located where I choose if I decide to pursue this "endeavor". This means I may have to move to a place where I yet again know nobody and may not even like. Tough choices sometimes... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:92070 2008-12-31T03:58:42Z 2008-12-31T03:58:42Z Damn it's hard to get laid in a small town... BUT, I'm determined. Muahahaha! Ahem...<br /><br />Anywho, I decided I'd leave a message here before the end of the year.<br /><br />I FINALLY heard from my oldest bro. He's actually getting his life together. It's frickin' AMAZING. Actually, the whole winter break has been revolving around that theme, seemingly so... I've been getting along with my family the whole time. Been a little under the weather physically, but I've definitely been needing to recoup.<br /><br />Oh, and my laptop is now officially fried... Damn POS... BUT, if I can come up with about $600(the same price I paid for THIS one) really soon, then I can have one that's at least twice as good in performance standards. Anyone care to make a loan? :D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:91772 2008-08-17T02:37:06Z 2008-08-17T02:37:06Z Got my driver's license, if but by the skin of my teeth. :D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:91631 2008-07-26T04:17:45Z 2008-07-26T04:17:45Z Good news - I may be outta Job Corps in about 2 or 3 months. :D Gotta bust my ass to do it, but it CAN be done. I also have a driving test for my license on the 15th, and haven't yet been behind the wheel here. Sure, if you count those several years ago my mom "tried" to teach me, then yes, I have, but not here at Job Corps. Soooo, I'm somewhat nervous, but hopefully I can calm that substantially when I get to practice. *crosses my fingers* Wish me luck... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:91370 2008-06-29T22:14:06Z 2008-06-29T22:14:06Z Yeah, I'm visiting my mom in California. I will be here for about 2 more weeks, unless my dad's plan comes together, then I will be in Texas visiting my grandpa for the good portion of next week.<br /><br />Anywho, that's all I've got at the moment... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:91112 2008-06-14T08:36:19Z 2008-06-14T08:36:19Z Well... I'm back to the woods now... For the most part, I feel well missed.<br /><br />My ex apparently hit it off with someone who was supposed to be a friend, whom also had a girlfriend. Judging from peoples' demeanor of the "incident", whatever respect, no matter how remote, most people had for her before she got involved with me is now a thing of the past. It's good to know who one's friends truly are... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:90644 2008-06-12T22:34:55Z 2008-06-12T22:34:55Z Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up My friend who broke the news to me has yet sent me more... I guess once I get back, I will be officially single again. I hope I don't continue to feel the way I do at the current moment.<br /><br />After all the trials and tribulations I have been through in my still somewhat short lifetime, I cannot for the life of me figure out why and how I keep getting myself into these kind of situations. I wonder if it's because I'm really that lonely and desperate for love and affection... And why does it happen so much like this every single time? I wonder if people of racial minorities go through this sort of thing... Like a black guy goes out with a white girl for like a week, then she starts telling people that it "felt weird" dating him because of his obvious or even subtle differences to the "norm". I don't fucking understand peoples', especially the female's, motivation to ask out a guy she knows is not like all the others, acts as if she doesn't care if he's the way he is, then when he's sent away because he gets sick, she starts dating other guys and won't even call him. Then he finds out from one of his friends, whom she tells she felt weird dating this person. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:90490 2008-06-11T03:53:40Z 2008-06-11T03:53:40Z The Sneaker Pimps - Sick This last week has been one of rest, but also that of empending anxiety. I go back to the woods on Friday. The two things on my mind are my new girlfriend, and my father.<br /><br />The day we arrived back to Job Corps from our Memorial Day weekend, I was formally asked out by a gal who I've known for about a month. About three days later, I get sent back to Eugene, 'cause I had caught the chicken pox. After I had gotten better, I called her and had somebody give her my number to my dad's, since I know she'd have time to over the weekend and I figured since I'd been gone for quite some time, she'd miss me. Well, I wait two more days for her to call me, which she still hasn't, so I called her to let her know I'm doing better and plan to come back soon. Then a couple of days ago, I get a message on the net from one of my friends at Job Corps, telling me that he hasn't been getting along with her the last couple of months because she's been seeing somebody else before and during the time I met her and started seeing her and hasn't said so to the guys she'd been seeing at Job Corps.<br /><br />And then there's the situation with my dad... He's going to be laid off at the end of the month. BUT, his best friend's younger brother won a settlement of some kind and asked my dad if he wanted to join him in moving to Thailand. Of course, since my dad's been there before and steadily sees our economy failing, as well as finding it too difficult to get work able to support him, he plans to go through with this so that he can teach English there, which is something he's found that he really enjoys and can make a decent living over there doing. I am VERY happy that he is doing something good for his future, but I need to figure out how and where I'm going to keep my things when he's gone, as well as handling not having him around when I need somebody. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:90180 2008-05-18T19:21:25Z 2008-05-18T19:21:25Z I just heard a couple days ago that California has lifted the ban on gay marriage. I suppose good things do eventually happen after all... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:89944 2008-04-20T05:15:14Z 2008-04-20T05:15:14Z I heard back from the lady at the Department of Labor a few days ago. I was informed that I will NOT be transferred. Much to my dismay, there is good news to this. Rather than the penny pinching bureaucratic bitch determining whether or not I get to see my specialists, the doc that comes to the campus once a week has the job. Because he's very supportive of my medical stuff, I should have no further trouble in seeing an endocrinologist and urologist.<br /><br />As for my other medical issues, I've come up with another idea. I am planning to get a donation website set up, linked to a paypal account. If I can get other folks I know to spread the word and/or leave a link their websites, then I should be able to get enough funding for it within a year or two. I will need to check the rules regarding donations with the IRS(joy....), but it should be fine, since I've heard of such things happening before. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:89646 2008-04-13T18:48:19Z 2008-04-13T18:48:19Z Finally the weather outside is nice, and I find myself with nothing to do... <br /><br />I'm uncertain what it is about this place outside of my trade education, but it seems as if I am unmotivated toward anything other than my basic necessities. I'm thinking that it may be that this place is so isolated from anything resembling civilization, and yet there is no such thing as privacy, being that it is a dorm setting.<br /><br />Being things that they are, I also happen to be craving some 'o that female attention. I've been spending entirely too much time around guys. Not that there's in essence anything wrong with them - but it's just like having 70 little brothers around. Enough of them are geeks, so finding interesting things to talk about is never a problem. I just want a nice but naughty woman to spend some time with. It shouldn't be much of a problem once I'm in the San Francisco area, but who knows when that's going to happen...<br /><br />Anywho, off to get my porn back... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:89534 2008-04-05T10:39:20Z 2008-04-05T10:39:20Z The occasional tone of the cuckoo clock in the other room After working tirelessly trying to get a hold of the representative at the Department of Labor, I am FINALLY making headway in my transfer - methinks. I explained to her what was going on with me and exactly why I was requesting a transfer. At the end of the conversation, she told me that she will talk to the regional director about it.<br /><br />What am I hoping to gain by transferring? Well, because I'm intersexed, my "gender identity disorder" is based on a legit medical condition, which qualifies as a disability under the ADA. And, if I can be considered disabled, then theoretically I can qualify for some kind of social security benefits, which would qualify me for California's state medical insurance. It of course isn't terrific, but under California state law, it covers my surgical expenses. If I were to wait until after Job Corps to get the surgeries started, I may not be able to hold a job in the electrical union, which is what I was shooting for, and getting it done while at Job Corps will afford me the recovery time I may not have been able to get as a first or second year electrical apprentice. As a fringe benefit of the transfer, I will have almost full access to the city of San Francisco, which affords me a kind of freedom I could not have had at a center such as Timber Lake, which is located out in the middle of the Mount Hood National Forest.<br /><br />Why now, after six months? I had lived with my dad for about a year prior coming to Timber Lake, and was afraid that because he's a paranoid schizophrenic, his sudden lack of emotional support from me would destabalize his condition. That and the fact I could start my electrical training sooner at Timber Lake were the major deciding factors in my deciding to go there. Also, they had tried their damnedest to keep "someone like me" from going there - and I am not the type of person to take no for an answer, especially under those circumstances. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:89214 2008-04-03T01:30:33Z 2008-04-03T01:30:33Z Due to the lack of medical resources and availability here at Timber Lake, <br />I will more than likely be transferring to another Job Corps center. Since UCSF is in charge of the medical stuff at the one known as Treasure Island, I plan to be transferred there. As of yet, I haven't a clue as to when this will happen, as it can be days, weeks, or even months because of communication problems and availability of space at Treasure Island. Just thought I'd let everybody know so they can wish me luck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:89020 2008-03-30T01:30:28Z 2008-03-30T01:30:28Z I've been thinking... About everything. Muahahaha! Scary, isn't it? ;)<br /><br />Last weekend, when I was coming back to campus from seeing my dad, an interesting conversation was struck between a friend of mine and me, with an occasional person jumping in. It first started out about how cool it would be to be able to use a larger percentage of one's cerebral cortex, which to all of us geeks, is the part of the brain that controls memory and what we deem intelligence. Well, then it grew to my saying that one can force their intelligence to grow by feeding their subconcious with positive words by using their concious voice, and that the opposite is done by speaking negative words to one's own subconcious. And then of course, it grew into a huge discussion about religion and politics and how because of our mortality that we will never know how everything in the universe works.<br /><br />It's conversations like these that makes me sometimes think that our lives tend to be about equal to what we choose to do with what we have rather than what it is we have or don't have. If we enrich ourselves with positive words and actions, then we tend to see the more positive things about ourselves and our lives. If we have a positive self image, then others tend to have a more positive image of us. Spending our lives caring what others think of us always has and always will build a more negative image of ourselves. I believe that because of this that life is an attitude before it is or can be anything else. It begins how we think and talk to ourselves. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:88615 2008-03-19T02:44:47Z 2008-03-19T02:44:47Z My back is feeling MUCH better. Yay! :D<br /><br />I got my hair cut sort of recently, so I decided to get some sexy pics of myself today. Fully clothed, but still sexy. Copies may be made available to most upon request. ;)<br /><br />Going to Eugene this weekend, since they're making it a three day weekend. So, although I won't get to sleep naked and most likely won't be out looking to get laid(What can I say? I'm picky...), it will be good, for there will be awesome food and beer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:88333 2008-03-07T03:19:24Z 2008-03-07T03:19:24Z Sometimes my life feels a bit too much like Fight Club...<br /><br />Turns out that my sacrum found its way out of place, where it has been for about a week and a half now. But, the good news is that I finally got to see the doc today, who helped me a bit, then gave me flexoril and put me on bed rest. It still hurts quite a bit, but not nearly so much as before.<br /><br />Not much else going on, unless you include all the teenaged drama here. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eros_cathexis:88287 2008-03-02T23:05:52Z 2008-03-02T23:05:52Z How I wish they had wireless internet access here...<br /><br />The next step would be to have an intantaneous transit system, so I can visit anywhere in the world I want and be back in time for work. It would be awesome to be able to visit anybody on a whim like that... Las Vegas one day, LA another, maybe even Thailand or Germany another day. I could imagine having one of those interesting conversations with somebody online about how we could be doing something cool together, and BAM! I'm there. Then they could introduce me to all of their friends and we could hang out, and when I feel like coming home for something, BAM! I'm back. Or imagine how dating multiple women from around the world would be, have a date with one for coffee in the morning when I'm in Portland, and then have dinner with another woman in Australia, then lunch the next day with a woman from Canada.